Why I Base Tech on Parental Controls

TL;DR

1. Because I’m a parent.

What do I mean by “Tech”

Okay, so the TL;DR probably didn’t really satisfy the nuances of my statement. I choose “tech” based on parental control features. When I say “tech” that is the ambigous blob that encompasses computers, mobile phones, tablets, game consoles, networking gear, and TVs. Basically, it’s anything consumer technology.

Why Parental Controls matter

I’m a millenial and grew up in a small rural town. Technology didn’t really start impacting me until I was in my teens, and even then we had 28.8Kbps dial-up internet until I went to college. My parents still didn’t have high-speed internet until just a few years ago. So my parents and most of my peers parents didn’t have to worry about technology as much. My parents basically had to keep me away from the PS1 or the TV, there still weren’t that many things they had to worry about. If they didn’t want me playing a violent video game, they just didn’t buy it for me. If I wasn’t supposed to watch a TV show, they told me to go play in my room. We only had the one TV with Satellite service on it, all the other TVs had OTA antennas or were just used for hooking up the Nintendo NES or the Sony Playstation. The computer was a “family” computer so it was in the living room and under almost constant supervision. Internet was slow, and it took up the only phone line we had so I’d only get so many minutes online.

Contrast that with today. My children each have their own tablet or phone. My oldest also has a laptop and an Xbox One. We have high-speed internet on all the time. So devices are now more personal than they were a decade or two ago. The amount of websites, apps, and entertainment options have also skyrocketed. There literally millions more options out there, and that also means potentially millions more things to be aware of. The number one priority of any parent is to make sure their children are safe and to guide their children through difficult subjects. That get’s a lot harder when you’re against those kinds of numbers. Yes, you could potentially be extra diligent and monitor everything your child does. You could arrange the home and electronics in such a way that the “family computer” makes a return, or the TV only comes on at this time, but you still have to worry about those times you are not diligent. Just spend some time on Youtube for a bit going down the rabbit hole like most kids will, or type in an incorrect search term and see what happens.

Solutions

Thankfully, companies have been beefing up controls for parents to set limits. Some of these are better than others. I have to commend Google and Microsoft. With just their apps it’s pretty easy to limit most of the devices that matter, and more importantly to allow or deny exceptions. My kids are using Android devices, so I can use Google’s Family Link app to limit screentime, lock down specific apps, enable safe search, limit specific apps’ screen time, allow some apps all the time (like Duolingo), and see what the kids have been up to. With Microsoft Family Safety I can do the same thing, but with Windows computers and Xboxes. Microsoft’s Family Safety will supposedly allow you lock down Android devices, but it’s functionality was so hit-or-miss with reporting that I only use it to control Edge on Android. I can set controls on all the apps, and set time limits. I can have the time limits seperate for PCs vs the Xbox so if I want my kids to be able to do creative things on the PC I can give them more time there and limit the video gaming time. Both apps allow me to granularly control things, but I can also allow things easily from the app. So if my kid texts me she needs more time on her phone for an app I can go to Family Link and add “bonus” time, or remove a limit. If my kids aren’t listening and being butts about things, I can just lock down the devices immediately. And both services are free. What’s better, these services allow you to also set allow/deny lists for websites through the Google Chrome browser (Family Link) and Microsoft Edge (Family Safety).

Some streaming services are also getting better. Hulu, Disney+, Netflix, and Plex all allow you to have “children” profiles that are curated based on tv ratings or movie ratings. Why these services stand out is they also allow you PIN-protect the adult profiles so kids can’t just willy-nilly change over to your profile. I can’t speak for Amazon Prime streaming or any other streaming services, so before subscribing to those services this would be a must-have. Even better, these settings can be changed from anywhere you have internet service. You can sign in to the website and make adjustments on age or allowed movies. Netflix even allows you to see what your kids have been watching. It’s a nice way for me to allow my kids the freedom and autonomy to watch what they want within reason, but also for me to keep tabs and talk to them about things if I need to. I wish Hulu had something similar. We found out that my youngest had been watching Invader Zim. While I like Invader Zim and I’d let my oldest watch it now, it is not a “kid-friendly” show with a lot of themes, language, and concepts that are well beyond what I’m comfortable with letting my youngest watch. These solutions aren’t perfect, though. I’ve outright banned Youtube Kids from the house. I love Youtube and think there’s a ton of great content, but Youtube kids is just not policed well enough for me to allow the kids to use it on their own. I have experienced too many “how did that get through” moments with the kids using it and half of the channels are just toy-pandering. I’d really like it if Youtube would implement a blanket deny list and then add only the channels I want the kids to watch to the allow list.

Accidental Benefits

The biggest benefit from parental controls that I did not expect was how it would help my wife and I be better parents. Yes monitoring what they’re watching or playing is important, but by setting time limits and restrictions using the apps both my wife and I are consistent with the expectations. If my wife gives the eldest child extra time on the Xbox, I can see that in the Family Safety app. If time runs out on the tablet for the youngest, he understands there is no more tablet time for the day and he needs to go do something else. It removes a lot of the “fight” from parenting with these devices. And it also removes the mental burden from my wife and I making sure we’re monitoring everything. It’s by no means perfect, and we still monitor what the kids are doing, but now the list of things I have to monitor are substantially smaller.

How it influences my Tech

Creating a frictionless experience is key. One of the biggest oversights in some of these solutions is that they forget what it’s like to have multiple children in the house.